Chapter 16 – The Dreams Of A Simple Dude
Currently, the three lords were at Ye Xiao’s house, partaking a grand 3 person feast.
On the table there were delicacies of every kind accompanied with fine liquor. It was surely a regular affair for the General Ye’s Residence to hold a small feast like this. Ye Xiao was in high spirits and he spoke a lot. The blood ginseng had already shriveled up even as it remained locked within the box. Its essence had already been absorbed into the space of the sphere, and was quietly being digested over there.
The steward had silently entered the room and had stopped right besides Ye Xiao.
“What is it?” Ye Xiao asked kindly.
“Here’s the thing, my lord… After you left the Wang’s residence, Wang Da-Nian left at once,” the steward spoke carefully, “and headed for the Crown Prince’s Palace.”
“Hmm?” Ye Xiao frowned and looked up at the steward.
He wasn’t surprised that Wang Da-Nian would leave for the Crown Prince’s Palace, after all that is what he had tried to lead him into doing. What actually surprised him was how the steward had followed it up.
The steward had actually thought of following the tracks and had apparently made preparations for it beforehand…
That wasn’t something an ordinary person could or would do.
“The steward… is actually not an ordinary person!” Thought Ye Xiao as he was staring at the man in front of him.
The steward showed calmness under Ye Xiao’s eyes. He then spoke gently, “Excuse me.” He turned to the door and walked humbly and honestly like always.
But Ye Xiao had changed his evaluation of the steward.
The General,Ye Nan-Tian, was always out at war. The man he trusted to look after the house and be in charge in his absence, couldn’t be just some ordinary person.
After finishing the food along with several drinks, Ye Xiao asked, “By the way, you know, the three of us are currently just fooling around everyday… May I ask the two of you about your plans for the future?”
“Future? Plans?” Zuo Wu-Ji smiled and said, “What future can I have in my life? What plan can I have? I was fxxking gifted with infertility by the heavens. Having such a sickness is something a man will disclose, as it will only arouse mocking laughter from everyone around them. Somebody has already told the world about mine. The whole capital knows that the second son of the Minister Zuo has a disabled shaft! How can I hold my head up when I go outside? What is there for me to plan for? How can a loser like me expect to have any kind future? I will just waste away!”
He had guzzled up three glasses of wine during the short time he had been speaking.
Zuo Wu-Ji drank quickly. Heartrending sadness was expressed on his pretty face, “You know what. Now in those brothels, those girls who are not willing to go past simple performances like customers like me the most, because they know even if they are naked in front of me, there is nothing I can do… Ye Xiao, do you think there could be any kind of plan for people like me?”
Ye Xiao sighed lightly. In fact he really felt sorry for Zuo, as any man could understand the suffering arising from lacking the functions of their lower regions.
As he was collecting his thoughts, he suddenly remembered the existence of a dan in the Qing-Yun Realm, called the Male Recovery Dan. This dan was definitely not a high grade treasure– it barely qualified as a 5th grade dan. This grade 5 dan had only a single function though. Neither was it useful for cultivation nor could it save one’s life, but when it came to revitalizing one’s infertility, this dan was the answer. In other words, it was a superior invigorant.
The Xiao Monarch, of course, wouldn’t care about this kind of dan. However, for some average cultivators, especially those lewd ones, this dan was absolutely worth every single penny.
For people like Zuo Wu-Ji who were born with a slight defect between their legs, only a single dan bead would be required to accomplish a complete recovery.
Moreover, since Zuo Wu-Ji’s physical condition was poor, if he ate one piece of the Male Recovery Dan, he would not only get rid of his infertility, but also improve his body strength!
After all, a grade 5 dan in the Qing-Yun Realm would definitely be considered to be a legendary dan in the mortal world!
After he thought for a while, Ye Xiao’s eyes lit up, “Don’t be so full of despair. Your sickness is not something which is incurable… Let’s assume you can get rid of your infertility problem. In such a scenario, what would you do?”
Zuo Wu-Ji took a deep breath and said sadly, “I know that you are just comforting me, but this natural-born disease is absolutely incurable. I know it is an absurd hope but… if it can be cured, I hope…” his eyes suddenly lit up, “that I can become a well-known officer. I will stand besides the king and subjugate the whole world. I will be the one who stands only below the king but above all the others. I will leave my honor in history and be praised by every generation in the future! I will innovate the government and fight against the corruption within.”
“I learn about politics day and night and I learn from everything I see. Any chance that I can find to learn or get experience in governing, I grab it with both of my hands. And then I will think about how to improve it, how to unite everyone, how to guide the country and how to be the best politician…”
He smiled sadly, “It may sound ironic but… Everyday when I fool around with the two of you, I might look unambitious… But when you two are sleeping with some girls at night, I will sneak off and go home… I will read my books and collect my mind to calm myself down… Because when there is nothing to keep myself busy with… All that I can think of at that time is to commit suicide so that my mind can finally be set free…”
Ye Xiao and Lan Lang-Lang were completely silent.
They had never thought that the number one black sheep of the capital, Zuo Wu-Ji, would actually possess such ambition and such dedication!
“I know. No matter how hard I struggle, nothing will change… Stories of my natural born infertility have been spreading in the air for far too long… No matter what talent I might possess and how smart I might be, in the eyes of the king, I might only be considered as a eunuch. I can only be disgraced by the world and be made into a laughingstock.”
Zuo Wu-Ji had by now guzzled up another three glasses. He smiled with self-mockery, “You know what. Except to pee, the thing between my legs is completely useless…”
Hearing his self-mockery, Ye Xiao and Lan Lang-Lang couldn’t help but feeling depression quickly taking over the mood of the room.
“Gal No.7, I was wrong.” Lan Lang-Lang said guiltily, “I won’t call you Gal No.7 anymore…”
“You!” Zuo Wu-Ji stared at him while rage seemed to be boiling up inside of him, but he quickly stopped and said with a voice full of sorrow, “I always imagine that if I am cured someday, I will have four wives and be chased after by lots of pretty girls, and I will be the most romantic officer and a decorated loyalist! Haha, how is it? Isn’t my dream hilarious? Maybe my dream is too unrealisable. What a ridiculous wish!”
Ye Xiao sighed and held Zuo Wu-Ji’s shoulder, “Have you never considered cultivating, so you can become an immortal? Travel around the world and rule over all your enemies with an iron fist?”
Zuo Wu-Ji shook his head and said, “I am really not all that interested in those cultivators! No matter how powerful a cultivator becomes, all he does is fight and slaughter to obtain a few profits. An intellectual can devise strategies and preside the battle from thousands of miles away. One word, one decision, each of them can change the lives of every resident in the world for the better!”
“That will be enough for me in my short life.” Zuo Wu-Ji said.
Ye Xiao was shocked. During the conversation, he had found out that Zuo Wu-Ji had possessed a virtue – fortitude. In fact, Zuo Wu-Ji had always shown this virtue, but no one had ever cared enough to notice.
A man who was born with a pair of disabled balls, was able to look straight at his own defects and bear with the endless mocking eyes and words. He could even overcome such challenges with an unabated dream! Ye Xiao didn’t think that he could do any better than Zuo Wu-Ji if he were to stand in his shoes – He might even opt to suicide to obtain total freedom, like Zuo Wu-Ji had said!
“There are only things we can’t think of, but absolutely nothing we can’t deal with. As long as you imagine bravely, there is always a chance to realise it.” Ye Xiao nodded and said gravely, “The pioneer and the unique, the most romantic politician who stands only below the king and upon the others in the history – handsome, strong, incorruptible and honorable lord Zuo!”
Zuo Wu-Ji was about to get angry but stopped when he saw Ye Xiao’s serious face, then he asked doubtfully, “Are you actually serious right now?”
“I do have an idea to cure your disease.” Ye Xiao spoke slowly.
Even a man with fortitude would freak out. He had to comfort Zuo Wu-Ji first, because due to Zuo Wu-Ji’s present mental condition, he might lose his mind before he got to fully use the Male Recovery Dan.
“What?! You?” Zuo Wu-Ji’s eyes lit up and his breath became heavy, like the sound of bellows being played.
“I can cure you, really.” Ye Xiao said seriously, “Well… I am sadly not able to do so right at this moment. Your disease is beyond ordinary treatments. The special treatment that is required to restore your manhood takes time to prepare. Zuo Wu-Ji, if you trust me, wait for one year! In no more than one year, I promise you, I can man you up!”
Zuo Wu-Ji looked at him with a serious expression plastered on his face, until he eventually smiled, “Absolutely! Deal! I will wait. I have been waiting for eighteen years. Why don’t I way for another year?”
Lan Lang-Lang giggled, “Eighteen years… Good for you. So you have been thinking about girls since you were born? Admirable!”
The three of them started laughing.
“Er Lang , how about you?” Zuo Wu-Ji felt relieved, because he had finally been able to talk about the sorrow that had been hidden deep within his heart for many years. He had even made fun of Lan Lang-Lang – calling Lan Lang-Lang by his nickname, which he hated more than anything in this world.
“Zuo Wu-Ji!” Lan Lang-Lang nearly exploded, “I am warning you one last time! Don’t call me Er Lang! You can call me brother Lan, or call me Lang! My life may be full of Lang, but there is absolutely no ‘Er’! I hate ‘Er’!”
“Lang~~~” Ye Xiao and Zuo Wu-Ji burst out laughing and nearly fell off their seats.
“Come on, Lang! Spit it out! What do you want to do?” Zuo Wu-Ji had decided to call him ‘Lang’ from now on.
Lan Lang-Lang rubbed his head. He didn’t like the way this single word, Lang, sounded when it was pronounced with a low voice. He was, however, the one who had suggested it, so he had to bear with it.
He then surprised the other two by declaring, “I have ten wishes.”
“Number 1, to cure my favus infested head.” Lan Lang-Lang rubbed his head.
Puff! Ye Xiao spit out the wine and Zuo Wu-Ji couldn’t stop laughing.
“Number 2, my family will no longer restrain me in any way, so I can finally be free to do as I please.” Lan Lang-Lang ignored the laughter from the other two as he continued listing his whishes, “Number 3, I want to be so rich that even multiple warehouses become insufficient to store all my money in! Number 4, I don’t want to work for the government. I’m not interested in learning either martial arts or literature. Number 5, I want to have a beautiful wife. I don’t need three or four wives; a single thoughtful and beautiful one is enough. Number 6, my family will be healthy all their lives, peacefully dying once they have reached the threshold of 100 years of age. Number 7…”
Lan Lang-Lang didn’t stop and listed out all his wishes. He had actually not been joking when he had said that he had 10 wishes. The last wish was, “… Number 10, we will be best friends forever. Like, even when we are eighty years old, we will still fool around together. Then when we eventually turn a 100 years old, we will finish our last dinner together before peacefully closing our eyes one last time… Together…”
Lan Lang-Lang clicked his tongue and then said wishfully, “Such a great future. I feel delighted just thinking about it…”
Ye Xiao and Zuo Wu-Ji were speechless.
Although they knew that Lan Lang-Lang was cherishing their brotherhood, the words that had come out from his mouth were a little bit over the top for them! They were thinking, “WHAT?! What do you mean ‘closing our eyes one last time…Together’, you fool?!”
 Er: The pronunciation of the Chinese character “二”. It means the number two and double, it also means stupid.